The Sacred Act of Becoming Yourself
Aired September 18, 2026
What happens to your spirituality when the religion you grew up with no longer has room for who you are?
In Episode 70 of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore gay spirituality, LGBTQ+ identity, organized religion, coming out, religious trauma, and the lifelong process of becoming your authentic self. Drawing from their experiences growing up within Catholic and Mormon traditions, John and Jerry ask an important question for queer people who have stepped away from organized religion: What remains when you leave the church but still long for meaning, connection, ritual, and the sacred?
For many LGBTQ+ people, coming out isn’t simply about revealing a sexual orientation or gender identity. It can mean questioning beliefs about God, family, masculinity, relationships, morality, community, and even your purpose in the world. For those raised in deeply religious environments, leaving a faith tradition can sometimes feel like stepping off a cliff. If the structure that once explained everything is gone, where do you turn next?
John and Jerry explore the important distinction between religion and spirituality and consider whether coming out can itself be understood as a sacred act. The courage required to question inherited beliefs, listen to your own inner wisdom, embrace vulnerability, and live authentically may become the foundation for an entirely new spiritual life.
The conversation also asks whether there is something distinctly queer about the way LGBTQ+ people experience spirituality. Growing up gay often requires introspection, discernment, resilience, adaptability, and an awareness of when it is safe to reveal ourselves. Those experiences can eventually become powerful tools for personal growth. Queerness can also challenge traditional ideas about masculinity, femininity, gender roles, patriarchy, and how we are “supposed” to experience the sacred.
But spirituality doesn’t have to happen inside a church.
John and Jerry share the many unexpected places where they experience spirituality: yoga, meditation, sweat lodge and ceremony, ancestor practices, exercise, hiking, nature, music, baking, creativity, friendship, meaningful conversation, mindfulness, and even the simple practice of becoming more present in everyday life.
John reflects on yoga as more than physical exercise—a practice of removing obstacles, becoming still, and experiencing the deeper self beneath all the noise. Jerry discusses ceremony, ancestral connection, his experiences with shamanic traditions, and even the gym as a place of self-reflection, growth, challenge, and affirmation.
Together, they arrive at a powerful realization: spirituality doesn’t necessarily have to be something someone else gives you. It can be something you discover, practice, question, create, and continually redefine for yourself.
And perhaps coming out isn’t the completion of becoming yourself.
Perhaps it’s only the beginning.
The rest of our lives can become a sacred practice of discovering what our gayness and queerness mean today—learning to live with fewer secrets, releasing the pressure to be perfect, embracing vulnerability, finding meaningful community, and giving ourselves permission to evolve.
In a time when many LGBTQ+ people are searching for hope, belonging, spiritual connection, and a stronger sense of purpose, John and Jerry offer another possibility: the experiences that once made us feel different may also contain some of our greatest spiritual gifts.
What makes you feel connected to something greater? What practices bring you peace, meaning, clarity, or purpose? Yoga? Meditation? Nature? Music? Exercise? Creativity? Ritual? Friendship? Community?
Join the conversation and tell us what strengthens you spiritually. Your practice might inspire someone else who is still discovering their own.
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