Two Dads, One Mom, and a Whole New Way to Think About Family
What happens when three people intentionally choose to build a family together?
Vikram Kolmannskog is a psychotherapist, writer, and dad raising his four-year-old son with his husband, Daniel, and their son's mother, Cecilia. From finding each other through a queer family forum to navigating home insemination, biology, and the realities of three-parent co-parenting, their path to family is anything but traditional.
Vikram and Jaimie talk about the messy reality of parenting, biological vs. non-biological connection, the pressure to identify the "real" dad, and the deeply ingrained gender roles that still tell us mothers should nurture while fathers should provide.
It's a conversation about rupture and repair, challenging the rules we've inherited, and what queer families can teach us about what really makes someone a parent.
Because family isn't biology. It's love, commitment—and sometimes a whole lot of mess.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Why Vikram and Daniel chose intentional co-parenting
- Finding their child's mother through a queer family forum
- The very queer logistics of making a baby together
- Navigating three-parent co-parenting when reality didn't match the plan
- Biology, non-biological parenting, and the idea of the "real" parent
- Why their family kept biological paternity private for the first year
- The gendered expectations placed on mothers and fathers
- Breastfeeding, formula, and the pressure placed on parents
- How therapy helped their family move through conflict and repair
- Why "messy" has become one of Vikram's favorite words for parenting
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s)
Vikram Kolmannskog is the author of Reflections on Parenting from a Gestalt Therapist Father: Life with Leo, a personal exploration of his first years of parenthood.
🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
🏳️🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com
🎧 Loved this episode?
Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!
OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:
🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content
🏳️🌈 What resonated most with you?
Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!
🏳️🌈 Let’s Connect!
Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube
🏳️🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato
🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-content
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy