This Is Not the Spain You See on TV: Retiring in Bilbao with Debra Bongard
Bilbao, Spain: Green, Rainy, and Nothing Like the Postcards
Guest: Debra Bongard | Host: Mark Goldstein
Debra Bongard moved to Bilbao, Spain in May 2025 with her spouse and her son, who is now 24. She had planned to retire in another two or three years, but after watching friends have their lives cut short or their retirement plans derailed by unexpected health issues, and after the 2024 US election left the family uneasy about where the country was headed, they moved up the timeline. Debra holds dual Irish and American citizenship through her mother, which made moving to the EU much simpler than it would have been otherwise. Born and raised in Southern California and a longtime Long Beach resident, she moved to Portland in 2020 and landed in Bilbao five years later. Her career was in technology, working as a programmer and project manager on ERP systems, and she left her job when they moved because her employer could not keep a worker living outside the country.
🗺 What Is Bilbao
Bilbao sits on a river in Spain's Basque Country, on the southern edge of the Bay of Biscay, roughly an hour and twenty minutes from the French border. Debra describes it as feeling almost like a different country from the Spain most Americans picture. If you love Madrid, she says, it won't feel the same. The Basque language was violently suppressed under Franco, and today the region works hard to help it flourish, which translates into free cultural programming all year long. Tapas are largely a tourist offering here. The local equivalent is pinchos, small plates built on a slice of bread and topped with everything from goat cheese and bacon jam to mushrooms and meat. Everyone speaks Spanish, signage is bilingual, and Debra learned a handful of Basque words to be polite. Bilbao proper is compact, smaller than Portland, with a considerably larger metro area around it.
🌤 Climate and Geography
Debra calls it a warm Ireland. Very green, very much like the Pacific Northwest with added humidity. It rains frequently but rarely all day, and she notes the local joke that if you do not like the weather, wait ten minutes. Winters are mild with no snow, though the days get short since Bilbao sits about as far north as Portland, Oregon. Summers are changing. Her first summer brought one heat wave that topped 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and the following summer brought three. She cannot tolerate heat, which is exactly why she ruled out southern Spain, and she bought a portable room air conditioner for the worst stretches. The coast is reachable without a car, and the mountains are about an hour and a half away by rental car for skiing.
🌈 LGBTQ+ Life
Finding the local queer center took some searching, partly because the Spanish naming conventions and the order of the acronym letters differ from what Americans expect. Bilbao has gay bars, two Pride parades in June, and an Axel hotel, the chain known for catering to gay travelers. The center hosts groups, though they meet in Spanish. Debra says she feels safe, would hold hands with her wife without a second thought, and sees other couples doing the same almost daily. Her summary of the atmosphere is simple: nobody cares, and that is how it should be.
💰 Cost of Living
These are Debra's own numbers from her household at the time of recording, and they will vary by neighborhood, apartment, and household size. Her rent is 1,400 euros a month for a large three-bedroom. Her previous, slightly smaller three-bedroom was 1,575, which is part of why they moved. Fiber internet plus two mobile phones runs about 30 euros a month total, which she calls a genuinely pleasant surprise. Electricity averaged roughly 64 to 65 euros a month over a full year, with the highest month at 93 during the air-conditioning stretch. Gas averaged about 55 euros a month, higher in January and February. The family eats out often, which she estimates at a couple thousand euros a month, so that line is a lifestyle choice rather than a baseline. A menú del día at lunch runs about 13 to 16 euros for three courses, a drink, and dessert.
🚶 Daily Life and Walkability
Neither Debra nor most of her friends own a car. Bilbao's center is flat along the river, where the Old Town, the Guggenheim, the restaurants, and the football stadium sit, with the hills rising at the edges of the city. She walks to nearly everything, including doctors and the hospital. The grocery store is in the basement of her own building. Metro rides cost less than a euro, and the nearest beach is about 20 to 25 minutes out, with her preferred beach closer to 35 or 40. The metro shuts down around midnight for much of the year, which is worth planning around, though she and her son have simply walked home when they missed it. Uber, taxis, and rental e-bikes are all available, and there is a riverside path you can bike all the way to the ocean. The airport is small and easy to navigate, with direct flights to major European cities. High-speed rail from Madrid is only partially complete in the north.
🏥 Healthcare
New foreign residents are expected to carry private insurance with no deductible for the first year. Debra pays about 3,200 euros a year covering herself and her son, roughly 2,000 for her and 1,200 for him, with no pre-existing conditions on either side. Her spouse, who is over 65, pays somewhat more and had a harder time finding a company willing to write the policy, since some insurers stop taking new customers at 65. She plans to join the public system but has not gotten to it yet, mostly because every errand takes more energy in a language you are still learning. Telehealth is available and inexpensive, with one out-of-pocket appointment running about 30 euros and the follow-up prescription about 5. Pharmacies are everywhere, and pharmacists function almost like first-line doctors, though there is no American-style aisle of over-the-counter bottles. Dental is included. A friend's hospital stay of a night or two cost around 50 euros. Mark notes the public system convenio especial runs roughly 57 euros a month for those under 65.
🚨 Crime and Safety
Debra has never felt unsafe. She and her son are often in the big central park between eleven and midnight, alongside families whose kids are still on the playground. She read local commentary claiming the park was dangerous after dark and could not reconcile it with what she sees three or four nights a week. Late nights are simply normal here, since dinner often starts at ten.
🎭 Arts, Culture, and Community
The Guggenheim rotates exhibits every three to six months, and Debra's annual pass costs around 50 euros, which pays for itself in about three visits. Senior discounts generally begin at 65, with a few starting at 60. She stumbled onto a free four-day performing arts festival in the park with seven or eight stages and multiple shows a day. Touring productions come through, including Rocky Horror in English and Mamma Mia in Spanish. Films marked VOSE screen in their original language with Spanish subtitles, and a local WhatsApp group tracks which ones are playing where. WhatsApp groups are generally the backbone of expat life here, from a small American group that shares tax preparers to a retirees' lunch group started by a Dutch man married to a local. Debra also worked with a local relocation specialist, which she credits with making the move feel possible, since one well-connected person gives you access to movers, translators, and everything else you cannot Google in a second language.
🍽 Dining and Cafe Culture
Coming from Portland, Debra is picky about food, and Bilbao mostly delivers. The city has Michelin-starred restaurants, and she was told that a striking share of Spain's top chefs come from the Basque Country. San Sebastián, known locally as Donostia, is an easy hour to an hour and ten minutes by bus for a food trip. She has found good Chinese, Indian, Mexican, German, and Vietnamese, though a full Thai restaurant has eluded her. She misses Portland's craft beer scene, but notes that nearly every bar and restaurant here carries non-alcoholic beer on tap, often including a darker tostada version. One practical warning: between roughly four and seven in the afternoon, lunch service is over, and dinner has not started, and finding food in that window is genuinely hard.
🛂 Visas and Residency
Debra's Irish citizenship meant she simply arrived. No visa, no application from abroad. Her spouse and son entered as family members of an EU citizen, which required proof of sufficient funds and income, a Spanish bank account, and their marriage certificate apostilled by the Secretary of State in the state where they married and then officially translated. Both received five-year residency cards leading to permanent residency. Because her son is an adult dependent, she hired a gestor to handle the additional paperwork. She contrasts this with friends on the non-lucrative visa and the digital nomad visa, which she describes as far more stressful, particularly for those whose income can change. Spanish citizenship requires ten years of residency, one of the longest waits in the EU, which is the single real downside for her spouse.
⚖️ Honest Trade-Offs
The hardest part is the time difference. At nine hours ahead of the West Coast, her family and friends aren't awake until four in the afternoon her time, leaving a narrow window for calls. That is much easier for people with East Coast ties. She misses family, and she doesn't rule out returning someday, though her spouse is firm that they aren't going back. What she loves is the learning, the Basque people, and the access. Round-trip flights to Paris for around 100 euros, a 50-euro round-trip bus to Bordeaux, and Christmas markets within easy reach. She also says plainly that being a step removed from American politics has been good for her mental health.
Her advice for anyone seriously considering Bilbao comes in two parts. First, understand the weather you are signing up for. This is not the Spain you see on television; it is northern, green, and rainy, and arriving directly from a warm climate would be a shock. Second, learn as much Spanish as you can before you get here, because every word you bring with you will serve you.
And her closing thought for anyone still hesitating: the question that finally moved her was whether she would regret it if she never went. She knew she would. You never know what next week or next month holds, so if you can go, go.
🎧 Listen Now
Listen to the full conversation with Debra on the Where Do Gays Retire podcast, and find every episode, destination guide, and resource at wheredogaysretire.com.
💬 Join the Conversation
Have you visited or considered northern Spain? Are you weighing the Basque Country against the coast or the south? Share your questions and your experience in the comments or in our community, and if you live in a destination we haven't covered yet, reach out. We are always looking for guests.